The past few weeks have been, pretty good. There have been a few low moments but that’s life isn’t it. I keep turning to just gaze at my husband and think how lucky I am to be in love with my soulmate (cheesy, not sorry!) and he will turn to me and say “Stop looking at me” or worse yet, quote Plate Girl saying “What’re you doing?” There have been moments where my son is hugging and kissing me and it hits me that I am a mother to an amazing little Cabbit. Life’s crazy but it’s these moments that make it, the positives that you live for. A beautiful dream that is reality until your nightmares try to take control and force you to stop believing. I have been watching far too much Nightmare On Elm Street! Go away Freddy!
In today’s therapy session we discussed the foundations of self-esteem which was actually quite interesting. We talked about what self-esteem means and how our experiences growing up can affect it. We also talked about separating facts and opinions from each other, for example I think the phrase “I am unimportant” is a fact because that is my opinion about myself. It’s not a fact but because I see it that way it has become a fact to me. Pretty much common sense I know, but it was refreshing to step back and look at how I see myself from a birds eye view. I have grown up thinking I am a failure and always pushing myself to prove others wrong because of my experiences from a young age (while it’s a negative that this is the case, my husband points out that this very drive has helped me achieve a lot in my life that I should be proud of!). Even when I succeed and prove that I can do something, I am never satisfied for long and still see myself as a failure. I never saw it that way until today and it comes as no surprise that I have low self-esteem about myself. It won’t happen overnight but I am slowly starting to see a new positive way of thinking and for once in my life I am not battling with my inner demon telling myself otherwise. Small tiny bunny hops.
It’s so easy to focus on the negative. If someone says something positive and then someone else says something negative we will always focus on the negative. Why is that? Why can’t the positives outweigh the bad? I am going to start by doing exactly this and not give the negativity the time of day. Life is too short and I hate that in the past the negativities have ruled my life. It’s time I starting being a little easier on myself and get my positive high on!
I have more homework to do as well which believe it or not helps. I am starting to enjoy these therapy session and am so glad that I took that step to discover more about myself. It’s fascinating and eye-opening, I thought I would honestly hate these sessions but so far it’s helped and made me think/see so much clearer.
I am off to paint my bunny claws and snuggle down with the hubby to watch the 3rd Hobbit film! It’s finally on NETFLIX! We would have seen it sooner but are waiting for them to bring out the extended edition! Wish they would hurry up with it!
Hop hop wiggle wiggle