I did something today I never, ever thought I would do. I went to see a therapist. Que me kicking and screaming being dragged away by the men in white coats. Ha just kidding. But seriously, I never thought I would be having therapy and talking about, well stuff.
My GP referred me as they thought it would be best for me, along with the anti-depressants. Honestly I was a little sceptical at first as I didn’t really fancy talking to a complete stranger about my worries and fears. But I was reassured that the people who provide the service are lovely and that if I wish to leave at any time I am free to do so. I bit my lip and agreed, knowing that it could actually help. I just hated the idea of someone judging me over their pad and paper, scribbling down my ramblings while constantly checking the time. That’s part of my problem, I worry too much and tend to think the worst because I have always expected it throughout my life. I have promised myself that I will put myself in uncomfortable situations that I would usually avoid and do things I don’t want to do, to prove to myself that not everything is as bad as it seems. So far it is kind of working, but only time will tell if it sticks.
I was a little disappointed I have to admit as I was expecting the whole couch scenario at my therapy session. I even joked about this to my therapist who agreed that even she thought she would have a couch when she first entered this profession. Once I filled out some routine questionnaires about my mood, worries and other stuff the talking began. I never realised before how much I could open up to a stranger. Talking about things I never dared to think I would say. I felt relaxed and that I could be completely honest about why I was there, feeling no shame or anything. I never realised before how much stuff I had on my mind, no wonder I feel like I have been going crazy. But the whole talking and getting it off my chest to someone completely neutral, actually helped. I even got given homework to do for my next session! As cheesy as it sounds I came away feeling relieved and that a new path lay ahead for me. I’m in no way deluding myself that I will click my fingers, and after one session be completely fine. I have made a slight dent in my breakthrough and will get there at my own slow bunny pace.
Oh what a mad few weeks it has been; absolutely chaotic. I need a chai tea and to watch some horror flicks with the hubby. The other night we watched Nightmare on Elm Street and I could not stop laughing at a certain bit where Freddy is running! I was in hysterics! I have a strange sense of humour I know.
Hop hop wiggle wiggle.
Fancy a giggle? Freddy’s run is at 1.20! Hahaha! I don’t know why I find it funny but I do. To make matters worse, my husband started singing The Corrs, Runaway song to it!