There are days when the sky is telling you it’s going to be cold and grey, that you might as well not bother waking up and/or getting dressed. A pyjama day is called for; with lots of feel-good films and delicious honey tea. However you feel these days start to blur into one another and when the sun decides it’s time to shine again you are already stuck in a rut of, well not wanting to do anything.
I myself had fallen into this trap a few weeks ago. It all began when I got a nasty stomach bug, don’t worry I won’t go into the details. I was feeling very poopy about myself as one does and just wanted to stay in bed all day dosed up on tablets and self-pity. It was a horrible bug but just as I saw the end in sight, I went and caught that annoyance that is Fresher’s Flu from my husband. Only now have I started to feel better but I feel at a loss. It has been about two weeks where I have been feeling under the weather and now I have recovered I am lacking the motivation to do anything. Maybe I am still ill? Or maybe I have just gotten so used to doing very little that my brain is on strike and enjoys staying in bed. I like to be active, to always be doing something. As a mother it is hard to sit still when you have a little one around but when Cabbit goes down for his naps I find myself twiddling my thumbs and thinking: “What now?” I have seemingly endless lists of stuff I could be getting on with; writing or finally getting around to finishing that book. But I don’t. My head feels heavy and foggy, I just feel meh.
It’s a frustrating situation to find yourself in and the only person who can get you out of it is yourself. So I found myself asking my husband to look after Cabbit while I had a long relaxing bath, got myself dressed so we could venture out into the world. I am lucky to have such a supportive and understanding husband who allows me to take time out for myself. We hopped into town where Christmas had already started to manifest. Scary! (Queue the rant from my husband; about Christmas not being ‘allowed’ to start until after his birthday in early December). We browsed some shops were we could pull horrified faces at the sight of reindeer, fat Santa’s and made comments like “It’s only October people!” My husband then treated me to a gorgeous éclair from my favourite bakery, Patisserie Valerie (or as we refer to it, Patisserie Du Lapin) before taking me to one of my favourite shops, LUSH! I got 2 bath bombs; Sex Bomb and Dragons Egg. Beautiful! Thank you hubby!
On the car journey home I got to thinking how a simple walk with the family had completely changed my mood. I felt revived and happy. Not because I had money spent on me; that was a bonus and unexpected surprise. I had been focusing on the things that make me happy in life like going for walks with my family, being silly with the husband and smelling my favourite smells. That was it I thought. That is what I had to try and do if I ever felt unmotivated or just poopy. I had to remember what the things that make me happy in life are, focus on the positives instead of the negatives. It is so easy to think about all the things that are wrong in your life and get depressed but if I make a list or have reminders like photos or smells of things that bring joy to my life, then maybe, just maybe I can get through a bad day. It sounds excruciatingly obvious to do this, but when your state of mind happens upon such a dark place it can often be hard to find that tiny speck of light trying to force its way through a rainy day.
So now when I have a day where I feel like just staying in the comfort of my home or doing very little, I look at photos of my wedding or the first photo of Cabbit and smile. I remember memories when I have never been happier or smell my new/old books. I really wish they made a perfume for that! My husband and I have an ongoing joke that if I am feeling moody I will go to my Lush bag with my bath bombs, smell it and be instantly happy.
I’m off to nibble on malteasers and play Black and White. IT’S SO GOOD! I like being a god muhahahahaha! Evil laugh too much? (Husband just caught me laughing as I type and told me my evil laugh needs work! That it’s too cute!!!!! The OUTRAGE haha)