New parents wear their newly appointed badges with honour, badges that consist of thick dark circles around their eyes which would put any panda to shame. It’s a lifelong journey that never ends, there’s the odd pit stop to stock up on drink and snacks but you never truly stop travelling.
Since becoming a mother I have never felt so much love than when I hold my son in my arms. It’s a different kind of love to how I feel with my husband. I’m not quite sure how to explain it. It’s a protective, willing to sacrifice anything for him kind of love. We created this beautiful little life that depends entirely on us for survival. We have a lifetime of worrying and stressing ahead of us but it’s worth it to watch our son grow and learn about the world.
It may sound cheesy or cliché but it is truly a magical feeling being a parent. The nights are restless, I have already forgotten what sleep is actually like and my clothes are stylishly decorated with spit up or vomit but the moments I share with my family are unforgettable. Moments of pure love and joy fill my heart and make me squeal like our guinea-pigs. I finely know what happiness smells like. Happiness smells like our son, that wonderful baby smell.
There have been times were I get a little weepy about the whole experience with the C-Section and still feel quite traumatized by it all. But one look at Cabbit and I know it was all worth it, that it was something that had to be done in order for him to be delivered safely into this world. All this pain I have whilst recovering from the C-Section is worth it to have him here, with us, our little family. I’m not going to lie and say everything is a bed of roses, there are days where the pain is unbearable and I struggle to get up and move but I know I can’t beat myself up about it and I don’t. What’s done is done. Giving birth naturally is made out to sound as if it’s the be-all end-all. Mothers are told to plan the perfect birth with their birth plan, to have the birth they want. Life isn’t like that, life is unpredictable. Babies are unpredictable. Since entering the world of motherhood I have had a strong feeling that mothers who deliver through emergency C-Sections are made to feel inadequate next to those who have deliver vaginally. I urge any mother who may feel cheated out of a vaginal delivery to slap some sense into themselves and realise that it doesn’t matter how your precious one entered the world, all that matters is that they are alive and loved. Life’s far too short to worry about what could have been, enjoy the now with your child; after all they grow up so fast you’ll be left wondering where the time went and why you worried so much over nothing.
I’m in my fourth week of recovery and it gets better each day. I feel as if I have drunk an ocean of peppermint tea and am dosed up on medicine that most days I feel like I’m doped up to the point where I forget what I’m doing but I know it will pass. I am starting to feel like my old self again, one good thing about being told to rest is I can read and write! Not as much as I would like as Cabbit is demanding and so he should be, he is our son after all. My husband is amazing looking after not only me but our son as well. I am so lucky and the time we spend together as a family is priceless.