When the world is slowly crumbling around you (I have images of it raining apple crumble for some reason…hmmm apple crumble drool) and you feel like hiding under your duvet and going into a deep slumber until it all stops. What do you do? Do you stand up and try to regain control or do you hide away and hope it all sorts itself out?
I sometimes feel like I am the unluckiest person in the world but then I have to stop myself. I have to physically grab my emo depressing version of myself and slap her across the face. I have a lot to live for in my life. It’s when things seem at their worst that we all turn inwards and start focusing on the negatives. Our world is painted black and there’s no sign of any other colour making an appearance soon. It’s easy for people to judge and think that we are just feeling sorry for ourselves but we all have been there. We have all had our dark days where that rain cloud just refuses to leave you alone.
I found myself back with my rain cloud a few days ago. Things had been going so well and then out of nowhere I fell down a trap door some inconsiderate fool had left open. It’s silly how one letter can change everything. The words are there in front of you in big bold black lettering but you can’t take it in. You try to breath but struggle and realise that your world is falling apart, you want to cling onto something but can’t seem to find a way as your eyes are being blinded with tears of lost hope. You feel out of control and it torments you. After many tears are cried and panic attacks are had I have to stop myself from worrying so much. Taking a nice long bubble bath always seems to wash my fears away and having a sneaky nibble on some Galaxy when no one is looking helps, a lot!
When a problem happens I have to find a way to fix it. I have to write down what my plan of action is and hop to it. It’s exhausting staying positive when you feel like you are clinging on for dear life at the top of a cliff. I have to force myself to remember that I have a lot going for me, a loving family and husband and our first child on the way. As the saying goes, “It’s the little things in life that makes it all worthwhile” You can’t buy love or make people be supportive around you. It happens naturally. I also try to handle any mega problems as a challenge; it’s something to overcome, to laugh in its face when you are again back on track. We may have to live on beans on toast for the next few months but at least we have food and each other. Not many people in this world even have that and I have to be thankful that I have a roof over my head and somewhere warm to sleep.
Nothing more to do then to get on with things and stop worrying!
Always look on the bright side of life!