I’ve been reminiscing a fair bit today, about what my life was like a few years ago. I had just finished college and was working all hours at Superdrug, going out almost every night with friends, drinking, dancing all night and then ending up sitting on a wall eating kebab and wondering if I would ever find true love. I knew for certain I would never find it in Barnstaple, that I would have to go out there in to the big scary world and discover life on my own. How I managed to spend a day working then go out clubbing, crawl in at some God forsaken hour for a few hours’ sleep to only drag myself back out to work again, I will never know. The thought of doing that now makes me want to lie down and take a nap. It’s like when I came to Kingston to go to university. There would be parties every night, drinking ‘til dawn and then somehow we all found ourselves sitting in a lecture hall at the back hanging our heads over coffee or Redbull. Feels like a long time ago but has only been a few years, I hope I’m not starting to feel old before my time even though I love a good cup of coco and fluffy slippers…OH NO!
Now, my life has completely changed. I don’t really go out drinking, I am more than happy to sit in a pub over a couple of drinks and watch a band. The thought of getting ridiculously drunk like I did when I was 18 makes me feel a little ill. I don’t know how I managed to drink so much back then but I guess it was part of being a young adult and actually being allowed to go into a pub/club to drink legally. Don’t get me wrong, I have not become a wet blanket although being pregnant doesn’t exactly let me drink, I think I have just realised that I have a limit and would rather enjoy my drink than start throwing it up in a couple of hours’ time. I think when we reach that special age of 18 we feel like we can do anything and just want to enjoy life and being young as we will only get it once. After that, comes all the responsibilities of living on your own, paying your way and the adult world of work.
I’m also married now and live with the love of my life, something I thought would never happen. I have always been unlucky in the matters of the heart but since meeting Rob I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him and felt a comfort I had never felt before. I can completely be myself with him in every way possible. Go on, say it, I know you want to, CHEESE!!!
And let’s not forget the pregnancy. Something I never ever thought about. I have always known I wanted to have kids but never really thought about it. Now I am looking at baby this and baby that and thinking oh my God when did I become such an adult? Although in my heart I will always be a big kid! If I was to know this would have happened when I was 18 I think I would have drunk myself into a coma, the mere thought of marriage and kids was like meeting the grim reaper before your time, deathly scary. But now it’s everything I ever wanted. It happened naturally. I didn’t go out looking to meet my husband with a list of baby names at the ready. I just lived one day at time and took on whatever was thrown at me. I don’t know how it happened or what point my mind slowly evolved into a more adult-like mind way of thinking, it just did.
I always had different ideas of how my life would turn out after college and university. Never in a millions years would I have seen this coming but it’s perfect. I’m still young and can’t wait to see what else the future holds for me and my little family. I don’t regret a single thing I have done in my past as it has all lead to where I am today. I just find it funny how life has a way of surprising you. It’s something you just can’t plan.
As I type this all I can hear outside is fireworks! It really makes me want to start singing Katy Perry’s Firework but then again I don’t want my husband to start singing along as well, have you heard him sing? (Strangled cats doesn’t even come close!!)