Vlogtember Day 4 : Annoying People BUNS and Madness!

Evening all! Today has been just your avg. typical mad Friday. I hope you are all doing well and have a fantastic weekend. No idea what we are doing for ours yet but I am sure we will think of something.

New Vlog is below for Vlogtember Day 4! Enjoy!

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Vlogtember Day 3: Garden Fun, Horror Movies and Nipples?

I’m starting to get the hang of this…I think. I hope you have all had a fantastic day! I am off to watch some horror with the Panda and then collapse into bed! Enjoy my new Vlog below!

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Vlogtember Day 2 : Family, Park and Drumming!

Hello hello! I hope you are all well! Today has been a busy but beautiful day seeing family and eating cake! Check out my Vlog below for Vlogtember Day 2!

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Vlogtember: Day 1 Cake Fail and Demon Goat!

So I have decided against my better nature to partake in the craziness that is Vlogtember. Vlogging every day in September. Sounds simple right? Oh how I wish. I have already been a bad vlogger and not really documented much, but I suppose you don’t need to see everything like me sitting on the toilet! HAHA that would be weird, not to mention awkward.

There will no doubt be days where not much happens while others are filled with excitement but I hope to enjoy it and not find it a chore. My reason for doing it is simply because it has always fascinated me. People document their lives. I wanted to give it a shot and could then say at least I have tried it and look back in years to come and remember everyday bits of my life that might have changed. Life has a funny way of doing that.

So sit back and relax and enjoy my first vlog for Vlogtember!

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Therapy Session 2

The past few weeks have been, pretty good. There have been a few low moments but that’s life isn’t it. I keep turning to just gaze at my husband and think how lucky I am to be in love with my soulmate (cheesy, not sorry!) and he will turn to me and say “Stop looking at me” or worse yet, quote Plate Girl saying “What’re you doing?” There have been moments where my son is hugging and kissing me and it hits me that I am a mother to an amazing little Cabbit. Life’s crazy but it’s these moments that make it, the positives that you live for. A beautiful dream that is reality until your nightmares try to take control and force you to stop believing. I have been watching far too much Nightmare On Elm Street! Go away Freddy!

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In today’s therapy session we discussed the foundations of self-esteem which was actually quite interesting. We talked about what self-esteem means and how our experiences growing up can affect it. We also talked about separating facts and opinions from each other, for example I think the phrase “I am unimportant” is a fact because that is my opinion about myself. It’s not a fact but because I see it that way it has become a fact to me. Pretty much common sense I know, but it was refreshing to step back and look at how I see myself from a birds eye view. I have grown up thinking I am a failure and always pushing myself to prove others wrong because of my experiences from a young age (while it’s a negative that this is the case, my husband points out that this very drive has helped me achieve a lot in my life that I should be proud of!). Even when I succeed and prove that I can do something, I am never satisfied for long and still see myself as a failure. I never saw it that way until today and it comes as no surprise that I have low self-esteem about myself. It won’t happen overnight but I am slowly starting to see a new positive way of thinking and for once in my life I am not battling with my inner demon telling myself otherwise. Small tiny bunny hops.

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It’s so easy to focus on the negative. If someone says something positive and then someone else says something negative we will always focus on the negative. Why is that? Why can’t the positives outweigh the bad? I am going to start by doing exactly this and not give the negativity the time of day. Life is too short and I hate that in the past the negativities have ruled my life. It’s time I starting being a little easier on myself and get my positive high on!

I have more homework to do as well which believe it or not helps. I am starting to enjoy these therapy session and am so glad that I took that step to discover more about myself. It’s fascinating and eye-opening, I thought I would honestly hate these sessions but so far it’s helped and made me think/see so much clearer.

e7891b584c84f7cfe5e7a38502c4c9c3I am off to paint my bunny claws and snuggle down with the hubby to watch the 3rd Hobbit film! It’s finally on NETFLIX! We would have seen it sooner but are waiting for them to bring out the extended edition! Wish they would hurry up with it!

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Horror Fix

Call me strange (many people do), but lately I have just wanted to watch horror films. As a child I hated anything to do with horror and got scared ridiculously easily. Remember the scene in Beauty and The Beast where you first see the Beast in the tower? I couldn’t watch that part for ages as it scared my bunny tail off me. But within the past few weeks I have just wanted to watch nothing but horror.

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Lately Hubby and I have watched endless amounts of gore. The only thing that really gets me is those bloody jump scares. PARTICULARLY IN MORE ‘MODERN’ “HORROR” (Hubby has shown me a load of older horrors and they definitely put a LOT more effort into the special effects, there’s way too much reliance on Computer Generated effects now, to see genuine effort in physical effects in horror now you have to go to ridiculously low-budget movies that then become bad based upon their production value… Catch 22!!!). You’re quite happily munching away on your popcorn, engrossed as you can be in the badly written plot and wooden acting when BANG! A jump scare that makes you throw popcorn everywhere and scream like a little girl. Maybe it’s the adrenalin that gets me, not knowing when something creepy and unexpected is going to jump out making me pee my knickers. Or maybe it’s the fact that as I get older I am finding less things are starting to scare me. I want to be scared but lately it’s taking a lot to even just freak me out a little. I honestly never thought I could watch horror movie after horror movie and not get creeped out when I need to go downstairs for a drink in the middle of the night.

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It could be that a lot has happened in the past few months that has made me feel numb and realise that the things that scare me the most are part of life itself. Never knowing what each day will hold and the unforeseeable future.  Horror in films seems bearable because I know it’s not real and I can just turn it off when I feel like it. Life isn’t like that, there’s no pause or rewind button. It’s a constant build-up of jump scares and choices like; do I run upstairs or out the front door like a smart person when being chased by a madman.

Who knows, maybe there will come a day where I won’t watch horror films and will get scared easily again? For now I will continue to find humour and silliness in horror films. Freddy Krueger’s run down the alleyway in the original Nightmare On Elm Street is all I am saying…

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Relationship Goals

Prepare yourselves, dear readers, for a little rant. Don’t like rants or classic British moaning? I suggest a cup of tea with some cake and your favourite book, or whatever takes your fancy.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL! There is nothing, and I mean nothing that annoys me more than people putting relationships through such high standards/expectations/ up on stupid pedestals. Whenever I see a photo or even a YouTube video featuring a couple, someone has to comment “Relationship goals” I mean what the hell? Since when was being in a relationship a challenge, like a game of football? Yes, you could say being in a relationship can present challenges, but it’s never a game or has a shiny end goal when you have achieved something like a trophy on the PS4.

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It just really winds my bunny tail up at how some people set certain goals in a relationship. For example, a photo of a couple gaming together would get the comment “Relationship goals” basically the person commenting is saying they wish they had or will have this in their own relationship. It is a goal to achieve. They will most probably go out of their way to actively seek this with another person which makes the whole experience forced. Surely you should just relax and let things happening in a relationship?! Each relationship is different and has it’ own little quirks. Why would you want to copy another relationship because it appears to be perfect or you want it like a spoiled child in a toy shop? Why live a life trying to be someone else and force a relationship to do certain things just to achieve “relationship goals”? Find your own ways together and do what feels natural. Don’t ever force it because it appears to look perfect and you believe it’s what you want. Just live your life with your partner and stop worrying about other people’s relationships and what they are doing. Focus on yours.

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I know I am probably looking too much into it but that certain phrase is just annoying. I wish I knew why it winds me up but I don’t. I think it’s the idea of people judging a relationship on a photo and deciding that this couple are role models and they want that in their own personal relationship. Surely if you need to use the comment “relationship goals”, you are not fulfilled in your own, or feel like you are missing out on something? Wouldn’t it be wiser to step back and look at your own relationship and wonder why you feel the need to rank others higher than your own? Never be envy someone else’s relationship, you don’t need that weight of feeling jealousy in your life. Instead embrace it and enjoy your own relationship for what it is, unique to you and your partner.

I think I am done ranting, apologies, but just needed a good old moan. I am off to drink tea and sit in the garden with my bunnies watching the world go by.

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