Below the village sleeps oblivious, unaware that tonight
is a Starry Night
the creature that was once a Prince watches from the tower cursing the stars that dance to the moon’s harp swirls of ball gowns and suits whirl before him the cigar smoke strangles his throat, his ears drown in laughter, struggling to breathe he looks up and sees her face, the moment he lost all sanity
the townspeople say he is different his skin has yet to feel the warm presence of sunlight
his pointed teeth lusting after bare necks his features unsightly a mass of melted flesh
he is not like the others they call him strange, peculiar, awkward he is alone only his past to taunt him
a whisper in the night an owl’s cry a wolf’s howl the creature that was once a Prince is night itself attending a masquerade
the sky recoils hiding in fear tonight is a starry night he buckles to the floor looks up and sees his madness reaching up his hands in surrender he screams
I warn you dear readers, this post will involve the mysteries of the female body and will include words like periods and ovaries. If you are faint of heart or do not wish to read about this information then I beg you to go drink some pimms in the sunshine.
The past few months my diary has been filled to the brim with appointments and tests at the hospital. It has been an exhausting journey, a proper rollercoaster ride except I never wanted to get on the damn thing in the first place. I want off! I am that annoying person who as soon as they have been strapped in, I am screaming that I have changed my mind. The other day was hopefully for a while at least, the last piece in the puzzle, the final bit that I needed to get done so I can sleep better at night.
As I may have mentioned before dear readers, since the whole C-section I have been paranoid that something has gone wrong. If it’s not my foot feeling wired then it’s my stomach being in agonising pain. I had convinced myself that something was amiss and it was driving me crazy. So I set about the quest to the GP where I spoke of my fears and had a number of tests done to double-check my health. All of these tests have come back and they are all good, nothing to report. The other day I had the last test done which was a scan to check my uterus and ovaries. That too went well apart from the nurse saying that I have polycystic ovaries. Come again? I queried her, I have what? I felt a little sick, what the hell was polycystic ovaries.
To save me going on and on about it, here is a detailed link of the condition.
Basically I don’t ovulate as often as other women; I can have a gap for as long as 4 to 9 months before I get my next period. My ovaries have a number of small cysts filled with fluid. This makes it harder for me to conceive. Which is ironic considering I have a son. I have learned from reading a number of websites and people’s personal experiences with this condition, that my choice of lifestyle can affect it.
It is from this that I have decided to maybe take a little bit more care of myself. I have decided to drink more water and only have diet coke now and then with dinner, eat more veg and fruit, work out more and just be more positive. I am not going to beat myself up if I decide I want to eat a whole chocolate cake. I want to take better care of myself just overall because since the whole C-section and birth of my son, I have felt unhealthy and want to take control of my body again. I am so sick of being in pain and feeling helpless. It’s time for mummy bunny to kick butt!
It makes me giggle when I think how much a patch of grass can make all the difference. For roughly a year now we have been without a garden. Now, thanks to some incredibly generous family members we have somewhere to sit when the sun decides to come out and play.
It is the most wonderful feeling to be able to open the back doors, hop a few paces forward and place a foot on freshly laid grass. It’s heaven and makes me all smiley and sunshiny inside. Growing up in Devon I was always surrounded with nature’s beauty but since leaving and moving my view is of tall buildings and grey horizons. For the past four years I have been living in flats which meant no garden. When we finally moved last year to a house, the garden was not accessible (a long story I won’t bore you with dear readers) But now, at last there is in fact green grass on the other side!
So now we have the luxury to just sit and potter about in the garden on days like today when the sun is dancing all around, birds are singing and the air is filled with that delicious smell of burgers and sausages cooking on the BBQ. Cabbit loves crawling on the grass and turning over onto his back to just gaze at the sky. He has this very deep intense look of curiosity on his face when he does this, like he is connecting himself to the world’s soundtrack.
As a mother I promote him getting outside as much as possible as it helps development. It also helps me; I get some fresh air and feel much happier when I’m out in the sun (as long as I’m not melting to death). There’s something about being outside that makes you think how glorious life can be. I don’t know if it’s the nature or the smell of life happening around you, it just feels magical, happy. Just thinking about it now as I stuff my face with pom-bears makes me smile and sigh. I feel like a fluffy cloud!
Hope you have a lovely evening dear readers, I am off to finish reading my book (SO CLOSE TO FINISHING) with a cup of tea while hubby works on his uni assignments.